Dear Indifference and Serenity,

I need you to come hand in hand. Why is it that you are slipping away from me in moments in which I could use you most? It is amazing how the lack of your sweet embrace pushes down my head and my shoulders, leaving me in a posture and with the feeling of resentment and resignation, a weight only an angry person can bear.

And it does make me angry, all this nonsense. What is wrong with me? I have a hard time accepting and tolerating things that matter only momentarily, and thus I would be wise to let them go, but somehow I often fail.

Consequently, the quest ahead of me is learning to know you in a different and better way, Indifference and Serenity. You must stay with me, and I must invite you in, all the time. If you want to leave me, I will beg you to stay. I do not like myself as much when I have lost you. Then I am not the person I feel that I should be.

I need suggestions. How do I learn to retreat into a world of grace and serenity? A world that feels as if I and everybody else were walking constantly on sundown-colored clouds.

I have already tried waking up in the morning deciding that I was in a good mood. I tried willing myself into a good mood. I often even succeed for a little while as my temper indeed can be bright and shiny. But even if I rode to that place and those people that I constantly question on a unicorn with a golden mane, there would still be those people and so many undeniable, irritating facts that I would once more be left without you, Indifference and Serenity.