Dear Impertinence,

sometimes people surprise me with their audacity. What makes them act in a way I never would choose myself?

Is it not very stupid to do something that might cause me problems just for the mere fun of doing it? There can be consequences that should definitely be considered. It is very likely that nothing bad will happen, but the very option for bad consequences should at least make people think.

Not so some of my friends. That makes me feel estranged. The special incident I am refering to is not really of significance. It is more the gigantic divide between their actions and my precaution, which leaves me standing in front of the elevator, while they are going up with the intention to do something that might cause trouble. I don't mind daring things from time to time, but I choose those actions differently. I often do not bother because I do not see why I should. It is not worth it in my opinion.

It would be exaggerated to claim I was wise or especially careful with my actions. I am not. I did proof that two nights before when getting myself into a situation I clearly, cleary did not want to be in. However, that was a result of a whole chain of things that came to pass. Something I could not totally forsee, even though I might have. But openly calling for trouble is neither my style nor to my liking.

I was left standing in front of the elevator suprised and very angry. My anger derived from the disbelief that they would go on, even though I said I was out. Why not come with me and do it differently? So I took the stairs to the ground floor and left the building, disappointed and angry.

It does not matter. Not to them I guess. I bet they don't even understand my choice and will misinterpret it. But I am glad, now, that I have some integrety. At least to myself. And I still believe it is wise to not risk a whole lot just because I can. Just because I need the feeling to be fearless, careless or being above rules. There would have been another way, which I had hoped they would go with me.

Stupid them. Tomorrow it will be forgotten. I will not make a big deal out of it. This is not my place. They are grown-up people and should live their lives the way they think fit. I will swollow down my silent critique and hope I will not have to choose again between spending time with them and making the right choice for me.

I let go of that anger now because I did right by me. That is what counts!